Why We Do What We Do

As humans we are very much driven by internal motivations. In most cases these internal motivations are unknown to us. We're walking around on autopilot, doing, creating, and living according to these deep set motivations. Motivations which can be of a positive or a negative nature. Our psyche doesn't seem to mind either way. It just guides us according to the programming that already exists. It brings us to places and conditions in our life and we often wonder how we got there. Good or bad, it lays the course of our life.

Today I had a realization of one of these motivations and how it has laid out the course of my own life. This happened to be a good one. I was in utter amazement as I walked my dogs along the river and my mind put the pieces together. Here are those pieces.

Last night I watched as a group of teenagers who are regulars at my quan interacted with several other teenagers who were just hanging out. The student teenagers were in the parking lot practicing weapons training. They were working up a sweat and having a good time. The others were doing as they do, just hanging out. One of the kids who was hanging out had been a student previously but over the summer fell under the influence of peer pressure. He had become a habitual marijuana smoker and since he had fallen into this he had completely avoided the quan. We'd see him around town but he hung his head in shame whenever he saw us. But last night the students had drew him back.

The students message was quite clear. Everything they did and said spoke loudly. They made it perfectly clear that the others (at-risk youth) could come hang out with them at the quan, but they would not go elsewhere and hang out, especially if the other group was doing things that were unacceptable. Slowly they were bringing the lost student into the fold and his friends with him. Soon he started exhibiting behaviors signifying he was part of the group. Practicing his kicks a little bit. Showing his friends around. This was a scene I had seen many times. The students were empowered by the certainty in their own minds of where they wanted to be and what they wanted to be doing. They were also empowered by the adults that were also part of the group.

Occasionally one of these students would sneak in to give a status report to the adults. They were completely aware of what they were doing and were quite proud of it. The adults were aware also but they could tell it made the students feel good and listened to each detail. It was fun to watch anyway.

Having seen this so many times I realized why we do what we do. The effect of a positive group on others could be profound. In this particular circumstance the boy be lured back into the group had a huge potential to go another direction. Having seen his older siblings I can say that the chances are pretty good they are involved in local gang activity. When that is the case the younger sibling is highly influenced to follow in their footsteps. I've seen that go bad many times. This positive group was negating that effect. They were helping this young man steer in the right direction and bringing his friends along also.

So what was my big realization? Not what was described above. I see that on a regular basis. The big realization was this.

I had been one of those kids.

I had never realized it before. I had never thought of myself that way. But now it's terribly obvious. I had not been turned around by a group of teenagers but by an old man (that term is used with the utmost of respect). But regardless, it was the same process. He had taken his time at it but eventually he got me. That old man was to become my grand Master, Al Moore.

I had been living under conditions that were not ideal. I had been raised by alcoholic parents and eventually left to fend for myself at the age of 16. I fended for myself and tried to finish up high school. My parents had moved out of the area. Now a 16 year old will play this off as cool. However looking back I can say it was anything but. I had been a star student all through school. Top of my class and I was partially through the acceptance procedures to go to Annapolis. However when left to my own devices that went away.

Quite by accident ( I don't really believe in accidents) I ended up in Valley Springs. I fell in with a group of youths. Most of them a few years older than me. It was a rough group up to no good. But fortunately for me I was carefully plucked from this group and redirected along a better path.

I'm reminded of this every day now. Since the recycling center has moved in across the street from my business I see several of the members of this group I was part of way back then. They are waiting at the gate of the recycling center to sell the things they have gathered or pilfered throughout the night. Their only goal is to get enough to keep them in beer for the day. I don't think they recognize or remember me. I'm also reminded of the rest of that group. The others, as far as I know, are all either dead or in jail. I can't think of one other who has turned his life around.

Now that I realize this I can't tell you enough how grateful I am that my life has taken the direction it has. And how grateful I am for the man that pointed me in that direction.

But the funny thing is that my story is not unique. I've heard it told so many times by so many others. The details are a bit different but it's the same story. When I attended Al Moore's funeral I was surrounded by by hundreds who had the same story. These were men I held in high regard. The toughest men I've ever known. And they were all crying. The toughest of them crying the hardest. There were literally hundreds whose lives were completely different because of the influence of this one man.

Now I know why I do what I do. I never really realized why it was so dear to me. Now I know. My wife and I started the Sheng Chi Foundation. It just seemed like the natural thing to do. But now I realize that it was a strong inner motivation that created it. A motivation I didn't know I had. A motivation that I'm incredibly thankful was a positive motivation.

I encourage you to support the Sheng Chi Foundation. It can work miracles.